Howl
by VampireQueenAkasha
Summary: Takes place within Manga Volume 9. Hans reflects a lost love he once had with his dying gasps. And it hurt and filled him with joy all at once. Reference to rape and death within.


**Howl**

**Disclaimer:** One of my favorite Hellsing fics I had stored away and forgot about. It was one of my very first I had ever written when I had been into the series and the manga. Still am, by the way. It started off kinda violent, and then got cute. It follows the manga pretty well. I really enjoyed this fic and cannot believe I forgot about it. It's not as long as most of my fics call for, but it was a thrill to write it...admittedly, during one of my High School classes. This will go through why Captain Hans was smiling as he died in the manga volume. It did not end like this in my first draft, but I changed it.

Yeah, I got in trouble for it too, but it was worth it!

_"Love withers under constraints: its very essence is liberty: it is compatible neither with obedience, jealousy, nor fear: it is there most pure, perfect, and unlimited where its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve." _

-Percy Bysshe Shelley

_"How did it happen that their lips came together? How does it happen that birds sing, that snow melts, that the rose unfolds, that the dawn whitens behind the stark shapes of trees on the quivering summit of the hill? A kiss, and all was said."_

-Victor Hugo

**By: VampireQueenAkasha**

"Gentleman, I like War."

-The Major

The Captain, Hans, remembered their first meeting as he lay dying from the inflicted wounds he had suffered from the vampire Seras.

It was within the glorious fields of East Romania. He had been on patrol one fateful morning. And in his trip, he saw her. It was there he met Christina, the woman who smelled of roses. There he stood among a human who did not look upon him with fear. She was a local farm girl who had distributed eggs and milk to her small town. Hans had kept pace behind her, following within the crowd.

It was her scent.

It's powerful aroma drew him to her like that of a wolf to the lamb. And she was the lamb. It was a delightful smell.

She was a beautiful human meat thing. Her hair was long and flowing down her back like a black ocean sea. Her eyes were a wonderful golden shade, much like the wheat of his own home town he used to know. But not anymore.

And, although he could not speak to her in spoken words, he wanted to know her more. No, he _had _to know her more. So, upon the Major's orders to investigate her hometown for possible recruits, he tracked her down into the marketplace.

Christina was just finishing with a customer when she saw him approach her stand. "Oh! Hello there, sir, may I help you?"

Hans stood there, somehow disarmed by her beautiful and her equally gentle voice. He wanted to speak to her. His lips parted, as if he could just say the words right now, but all that came out of him were small, dry grunting noises.

Christina furrowed her brow slightly. She got up. "Sir?"

No, he did not want her to go away just yet. Just as she started to back up, he grabbed her wrist in one gloved hand, enough to startle her. To indicate not to scream, he gestured with one finger to his lips. Christina was silent, but surprised when he unbuckled his coat a little to display the jagged scar on his throat from the wires of Walter Dornez. He made a soft, wheezing sound, hoping that she'd understand.

Christina gasped softly. Realization touched her features. "Oh! Oh, I see...You do not speak?"

Hans gently took her hand and brought it slowly up to his throat scar and placed it gently there. Christina seemed startled by the action for a moment, but she simply ran her fragile human fingers against the scar and Hans took his hand from her wrist to allow her to perform this act on him. He stood stone still, eyes watching her hand's every motion.

"Oh...oh, you poor thing!" Christina sighed, "It must pain you not to speak."

Not in the way that _she _thought. Hans continued to stand there until she stopped, disappointing him a little. But he made no gesture to indicate such. She glanced up toward the sun. "Oh! I should be off then!" she told him, "I have a man I must care for before the night!"

Hans started to follow her, but she held up a hand as she picked up a basket. She simply laughed, a gentle musical sound which filled the Captain with a sense of warmth. "Now, you can't come with me. He isn't too friendly with strangers, you know."

Hans took a careful step forward, but then he stopped himself, grunting softly. Maybe it was best he did not follow. After all, it would possibly attract attention. He could not afford a slaughter right now. The Major said to recruit, not kill.

So he decided to wait for her again.

And it was then she had seen his "Other Self". It was then he had unleashed his beast in her presence. His wrath had been kindled enough for him to do so. That same night, several vampires in a drunken stupor had been walking about at night. Weaklings without much threat to him.

But to her, they had been.

Hans remembered seeing his little human in the grass, beaten and bruised and crying. He remembered seeing the two vampires violating her in horrible and gruesome ways. Her smell, her constant beautiful smell; riddled now with pain and despair. And it was then, he saw red.

It was so easy to shift his form. So easy to become that monster he truly was inside. He enjoyed the pain that came with the change; the pain of his bones snapping and popping into new form. Enjoyed what it took to become what he was. What he was born to do and be.

And when the vampires heard his furious roar in the night, they struggled to do battle against him. But driven with rage, Hans took the two savages down with ease, his claws and teeth tearing their dead, disgusting flesh. They had Christina's scent all over them, which enraged him further.

Christina was sitting in the grass, scrunched up and sniffling with agony. Hans, still in wolf form, lowered his muzzle to her soft, bruised cheek and gently caressed it. She whined softly and felt him lifting her up in his massive furry arms. She gazed up at him as he walked slowly into the fields. The moon cast a glow over his greyish body. He was beautiful.

Christina pressed her slightly sobbing face into his furry chest, clutching a batch of fur in one hand. Then, soft words escaped her lips between her sniffling.

"Thank you ... "

And Hans had never been happier to hear those words.

As time came to pass, Hans would always visit his little human. When she was in the marketplace, he would stand outside and wait for her for hours. Hours of just ... standing. Christina was surprised by his behavior. He was just like that of a puppy, awaiting his master.

The pair drew close to one another, Hans enjoying her singing she liked to do as she bathed in the farmhouse. He also seemed to enjoy her little wrestling matches she so oddly liked to do in the fields. To show his appreciation, he had gotten used to simply making gestures to her with his hands or his teeth. When he was displeased with her playful mocking, he would flash his teeth at her. When he was happy or pleased with something she did, he would nod his head once or flirt it to the side.

One morning, she and Hans both wrestled in the fields. Such a silly, human thing for him to do, but she seemed to enjoy it, so he was fine with that.

Christina tried to pin his wrists, but he easily flipped her onto her back, drawing a yelp of surprise from her. She giggled and looked up at him.

"Well, I guess I lose again!" she said, laughing softly.

Hans gazed down at her and shook his head. His mask of apathy never really wavered, but she could tell what he was thinking. Such an odd thing for a grown woman to be doing.

"You're so sweet ... " she sighed, reaching up to him. She ran her fingers through his slightly rough white locks, listening to a soft rumbling in his chest.

Christina smiled at him, watching a strange look cross his features. It was the first time she had seen that apathetic mask fall away. A warmth followed behind his features. When she ran her fingers against his ear tips, a small shiver raced through his frame. He looked down at her with a look that clearly showed hesitance.

Christina shook her head. "I don't mind." she said, softly, shifting beneath him. "You don't need to speak at all. Just use your hands to tell me."

Hans felt himself sink down against her, his chest pressed roughly to hers. With a pace too slow even for her, his rough lips covered her own. The action drew a small hitched sound from the human beneath him and that seemed to encourage him further. He got up and pressed one hand to her back, turning her over onto her stomach.

Before she could question this odd maneuver, she felt his mouth against her exposed back. He was moving up toward her neckline and finally, she cried out when his teeth bit down onto her flesh. Instantly, a warmth flooded through her entire body. The bite had not hurt at all. His teeth had latched onto her gently. When she tried to shift up a bit, she felt an arm slide around her waist and a soft growl of displeasure rumble in her ear.

It took her a moment to realize what he was doing. This form his animal was keenly aware of. She tried to move again and felt his teeth tightening a little and his growl reached a warning pitch. Finally, she knew she would have to hold still now.

It had all become a blur for the both of them. A sweet, wonderful action that lasted until nightfall. Christina had fallen asleep after what had happened between them and when she woke up, he was sitting and watching the moon. His coat had covered her.

"This is so terrible ... "

The words made the Lycanthrope glance at her with a grunt of alarm. She smiled. "We've ... gotten so close, I don't even know your name."

Hans nodded at that. He picked removed a blade from his belt and began to carve his name into the small fencepost closest to them. He stood aside so she could see. Christina smiled.

"Hans ... so that is your name ... "

He nodded his head. She was starting to drift off to sleep again and he moved over to her, resting his head against hers. As the moon brightened over the both of them, Hans took the form of a wolf and curled up protectively around her.

In the present, a dying Hans coughed up heavy amounts of blood. Now it was too late. He had lost her. Lost her when he left Romania. Lost her to perform his mission here in London. Now ... Now she was gone, and he soon to follow.

Suddenly, as that thought crossed his dying mind, Hans looked up through his death haze and did the one thing he had never done in his tormented life.

He laughed.

O

_Note_-Like I said, short but kinda cute in my opinion. Did ya' like it?


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